Lauryn's Blog

Welcome back to our free, three-part series, Master the Sale (MTS). This is our third and final post of the series. If you missed out on the beginning, you can see part one here and part two here.

Now let’s jump right into it.

You’ve heard it before, maybe in romantic comedies or from some random chick on the subway, crying to her girlfriend about it (people in NYC have no sense of privacy. Crying, relieving yourself or fighting in public are all fair game).

Or what about when your girlfriend walks away in silence (or anger) because you didn’t say the right thing.

Or when you said all the right things and the prospective client smiles and says no after you’re three months into the deal (wtf!).

What is it that I’m talking about and why does it matter?

Connection.

The title of this article gave it away (shoot), but I’ll restate it for SEO purposes (I’m kidding).

Connection.

Connection is merely allowing the other person to feel seen, heard and understood (tweet that Webster).

Let’s flash back to the fight you had with your last significant other.

You’re staring at one another, both sides clear on how they feel and totally unsure of what the other person really wants. In fact, you’re pretty certain you know what they want, but when you express what you’re hearing from them, they disagree. There’s a clear disconnect.

“No! It’s like you don’t even know me!”she screams.

Then you jump in, louder, angrier and let’s be honest, hurt.

“Don’t know you? Don’t know you?! Are you serious? I know your menstraul cycle I know you so well! I take public shame by buying you super sized tampons in the grocery store, everyone staring at me like I’m some weirdo. What’s he doing with super sized tampons, they wonder. I bring you to meet my mother and I even painted your toes that one time! And don’t tell me they weren’t cute, because those sparkles? They were fabulous!”

In a primitive roar, deep from the underbelly of the earth, she shouts in retaliation.

From what you recall, her head soon turns into a praying mantis that looks like its going to eat you (see image here) and you soon wake up to realize she stormed out, took the dog (you hated that dog anyways) and the left over pizza.

Wtf just happened you wonder?

We don’t want our loved ones or our prospective customers to disappear, neither silently or in a heat of rage and yet, this happens all the time.

What you see here is two people who are clear on how they themselves feel, “certain” they know what the other wants and it’s through these assumptions they guide the conversation.

These assumptions, if not tested and corrected along the way, are what lead to failing partnerships across the board.

If we dig deeper, I can show you what happens in the above scenario, which isn’t so different than your sales conversations.

Why your conversations turn sour (or end mysteriously)

With your words and body language (which is based on your assumptions about the other person), you begin to challenge the person.

You escalate your energy.

You metaphorically chest bang your prospect.

By continuing with these assumptions, you find yourself in a perpetual state of chest banging.

Do you remember the movie A Night at the Roxbury with Will Farrell? Do you remember how they would essentially chest bang women as their way of dancing? If you need some refreshing of that infamous scene go here and fast forward to 1:31

Chest banging, like perpetual assumptions, gets your energy up and both parties on the edge of their seat. If done too much, both parties grow agitated.

They fidget in their chair and begin to stare through you in boredom. They begin to squint their eyes and cross and uncross their legs…  a sense of edginess enters the room.

You need to break the cycle and that doesn’t come from more assumptions (a.k.a. chest banging).

Can you imagine how ridiculous that would be to continuously chest bang your prospects? #kindacrazy #dontdoit

Breaking the cycle comes from doing something entirely different.

It comes from sitting down on the floor suddenly.

Or whispering.

Or smiling in silence.

In the above example, our guy here took his significant others’ objections personally. She made a claim he didn’t know her.

He then escalated the situation by mirroring her actions, tone and demeanor and then went deeper down the rabbit hole by justifying himself. However, he didn’t mirror them from a stance of empathy. but rather of defense and self-preservation.

Imagine if your prospect said,

“You know, your products are really expensive and don’t compare to the quality of X brand.”

What if you said in return,

“What the f$%^ are you talking about? We’re the best! I know you better than you know yourself you idiot!”

That doesn’t work, does it?

But what if you say something like,

“You know what, I can see why you think that. A few years ago, I would have agreed with you, but in the past 5 years we’ve invested heavily in developing our product. And I’d like you to give me a chance to demonstrate just how much we’ve improved. I promise I won’t waste your time.”

Boom!

That guy is smooth. That guy gets girls and closes sales.

Which do you want to be?

Realize that in most cases, we want objections from our prospects. We want rupture, we want to figure out what works and doesn’t work, but we want it before the point of explosion. Once we find what doesn’t work, we change direction, we don’t continue to chest bang.

We welcome rupture. It allows us to change course, discover what is really important to the person we’re talking about and it also gives us the chance to share more information about our products, services and beliefs (why we’re different).

Mark, the man in this example who I just now named, didn’t guide the rupture, he was merely an observer of an explosive situation and thus was not connected. The conversation dominated him, he lost control and the emotion knocked him on his ass.

Had he been connected to his partner, he would have seen the explosion coming rather than hiding from it. He could have changed course earlier and prevented such a situation from occurring.

Connection is merely allowing the other person to feel seen, heard and understood.

Most of us, though, are merely witnesses to our failures, not realizing that our lack of guidance is in fact what led to this disaster in the first place.

And our lack of guidance comes from an inability to see. Our GPS (i.e. connection) is all screwed up and thus we can’t see clearly.

What could he have done differently?

Three things you (and Mark) can do to prevent losing a customer

1) When people say something you disagree with, don’t escalate the situation. You can disagree with them and still not escalate the conversation. We covered that in part two of this series. You can see the full article here.

2) Test your assumptions. Assumptions are good to use when you want to better understand someone. You openly state them to hear if they agree or disagree with what you said. But if you don’t do the work of clarifying early on if your assumptions are accurate, you could be killing your sales conversation.

Test early and test fast so you can better understand who you’re speaking to and what they value. (Remember– assumptions are good to make, but only if you test them. We talk about that in part one of this series.)

3) Aim to genuinely help the person you’re speaking to, even if you feel they’re wrong. This helps you take a proactive stance (and be better understood), rather than reacting defensively and losing a chance at truly seeing the other person.

This may mean your ego takes a back seat. It means you may be listening to rants and raves that seem irrelevant to you. It also may mean you don’t “close the deal” on the spot. And that’s ok.

This concludes the end of our free series, Master the Sale, but it’s not the end of our journey.

I want to know what you found most valuable out of this series and meet you if I haven’t already.

So get to it!

Introduce yourself in the comments below and tell me one thing you loved about this series.

I read every single comment and take your feedback to heart. And remember, this is a community here, a tribe if you will. So speak up and let your presence be known!

Looking for more free tutorials like this one? Sign up for our blog here and get exclusive content delivered to your inbox every week. We never, ever spam.

Until next time!

Welcome back to our free, three-part series, Master the Sale (MTS). This is post number two. (if you want to start from the beginning, go to number one here)

MTS dramatically raises your ability to close sales and the best part is that it’s free. Most entrepreneurs never study or even attempt to learn sales and it’s their number one mistake.

While they’re out there making the same errors each and every call, you’re stepping your game up and finding valuable resources to mold you into a sales maven with integrity and authenticity. Go you!

To review quickly, last week you learned how to deeply connect to your prospects and were given three scripts with language you can use today to drastically improve your sales calls.

You also learned the difference between an assumption and reading someone and when and how to use each method. Again, if you missed part one and want to read the whole tutorial, go here to catch up.

Now onto week two!

Today we’re going to talk about a skill that most people assume is quite simple and rarely ever practice. It’s an expertise that the best entrepreneurs master early on and know can change the amount of respect, credibility and trust they command in a conversation.

Mediocre entrepreneurs spend very little time on this and thus tend to have average results.

So what’s today’s topic?

Today we’re going to talk about disagreeing with your prospect in the form of a proactive objection.

Um, what do you mean disagree with your prospect?

To disagree is to have a different opinion than the person you’re talking to. Simple, right?

Well, kind of. And that’s where the expertise comes in.

There tend to be two polarities in the disagreement space and you’ll land somewhere in the middle, hugging tighter to one end or the other.

On one end you have the punk. The punk looks a little something like this: He is uber confident, has all the answers and has a sort of ignorance about him. He may over talk you, have really long presentations and probably talks quite fast. He talks more than he listens and his disagreements seem shallow or uninspiring.

Sometimes the punk feels a bit slimy and other times he feels arrogant, but what’s consistent about him is that there’s no room for disagreement because he is always right.

On the other end, you have the nice guy. The nice is hard to dislike. He damn near agrees with everything you say, or so you think, but then again, you don’t really know if he’s in agreement because he’s so busy answering your questions.

Polite and maybe even charismatic, you like him but you aren’t entirely sure if he’s selling you something. At the end of what feels like a sales presentation, he doesn’t ask for the sale or give clear structure as to how to follow up. His disagreements are minimal and like the punk, lack in impact.

Early on or midway through the conversation, you find yourself not taking him very seriously. “Nice guy,” you might think as they walk through the door, but you don’t think of him as someone who can legitimately solve your problems.

What is the real reason both the punk and the nice guy fail?

While their styles are different, neither one of them share any insights that are particularly memorable.

And if you aren’t remembered, then you are forgotten.

The punk creates a feeling of annoyance and maybe even anger in his prospects. And where he maybe could have justified his aggressive behavior with valuable insight, he didn’t. His potential customers intentionally dismiss him and he loses the sale.

The nice guy on the other hand creates next to no emotional experience for his prospects. He is unintentionally forgotten simply because he said nothing that stood out.

How to disagree with your customers and still win

Classy sales people know that strategically placed, intentional disagreements can rapidly move a deal forward. Smart people have well-thought-out opinions and high-level sales people are more like consultants than the stereotypical sleazy car salesmen. Thus, they’re perceived as smart and trustworthy.

They need to seen as capable; having intelligent opinions is a key piece to that. There’s an 18 minutes TEDx talk on that very topic here.

Seasoned business people aren’t looking for something  out-of-this-world-new, but they are looking for something different (tweet that!). 

Something that makes them pause and reflect, something that awakens them, that brings them closer to a simple solution that delights.

They want the “Oh wow, I never considered that before” factor. And the path to that moment of revelation lays inside an intelligent opinion.

So how can you construct an opinion and not offend or bore your prospect?

Here are THREE methods you can use to wow your customers even while telling them they’re wrong: 

1- Consider what ONE, common misconception they all have. If you’ve been selling this particular product or vision for a while, you’ll come to see that most customers have similar mindsets and thus tend to employ similar strategies.

Once you identify the common misconception, ask yourself why it’s a poor way of thinking and in what critical way is it harming their business. Forget about why your product or service will help them and focus on why this one misconception is causing them to lose out significantly in either time, money, tech or talent.

2- Practice saying the following statement, “You know what, I can see why you think that and I gotta say that I disagree with you.” The key here isn’t so much in the words but in the tone. If you say it with arrogance, you toe the line of the punk and if there’s no emotion behind it, you’re the nice guy no one takes seriously.

Say it like it’s not a big deal and yet you know something they don’t (because you do). Try raising your voice a hair just before the end of the sentence. Aim for the third or second-last word and then drop your voice on the last one (like your normally would to signal the end of a sentence).

If you end on a high note (literally), it symbolizes a question and takes away your authority. If you’re too monotone, it can come off as either boring or aggressive.

You’re going to use this exact phrase when you hear them share the ONE misconception they all seem to share.

3- Release the outcome. On a personal level, this has nothing to do with you. If you’ve tried your best to explain the pitfalls in their current strategy and they aren’t open to learning, there isn’t much you can do. Your job is to speak up when necessary and be ready for whatever they decide.

Now onto your homework.

We have dozens of conversations every day and there are definitely times when we do not agree with the people we’re speaking with.

Your task is to identify the ONE common misconception in your industry that most people have and share it with us in the comments below. That’s it. Becoming clear about how people think is 2/3 the battle.

Do it today and post it here in the comments for us to read. I look forward to reading your comments.

Are you liking this series? Great! Make sure you don’t miss our next post by clicking here to sign up for email updates.

Let me first say that I feel like a royal ass for what I’m about to share, but I’m also equally grateful that I found the problem and am able to share the lesson with you smart people.

This morning I woke up to a text from a friend.

She wasn’t getting any new content from my blog and was curious why. The loyal friend and reader that she is, she even resubscribed way back in January to ensure she wasn’t missing any of the goodies.

One fine day she decided to digitally mosy over to the  site and in fact see new content!

And there was lots of it!

So why wasn’t she getting it?

It turns out that none of you were getting any new content since November 2012.

Somewhere in cyberspace Lauryn was tinkering with her email list settings and paused the campaign. For five months, no one was getting any emails from this blog.

And this explains a lot.

It explains the random spike in unsubscribes when I sent out a direct email in February.

It explains, potentially, the lack of response to certain content I was sure would be juicy for you guys.

But even more than all of that, it really shows me the importance of a few key lessons that I’m going to share with you. 

Why you need to slow down to succeed in business

Below this post you are going to find a video I made for you guys, complete with a public apology, an explanation of the real reason I failed and how you can prevent systems and fear from ruining your business. Check it out below (and notice my oh-so-cool mock backdrop… it’s really the backside of a mattress cover. We’re in the midst of moving!)

Please note: you can jump to the “how not to make this business mistake” part of the video at minute 5:33

You’re also going to find all the content you missed including how to get more attention for your blog, part one of a FREE three part sales tutorial, how to brand yourself on a budget and more. There is a ton of incredible content that I’ve been really focusing on to make your life and business better.

Top content you missed

• Are you making this super common sales mistake? (part one of a three part- FREE- sales series)
• 15 Ways to Brand Yourself on a Budget 
• Three awesome ideas on how to get your blog noticed 
• Do I need head-shots and is a press kit important? 
• The subtle cues of power and influence 
• Happy birthday to me (can you help me out) 
• What is vulnerability? 
• Follow your gut 
• What is your vision for the world?
• Just make it up
• What you need to be a thought leader
• Top 2012 Reflections
• Why do some companies succeed and others don’t?
• Learn to let people down 
• When do we lose our virginity? 

(You guys missed a lot. Hope you enjoy catching up on your reading. Let me know which ones you liked best!)

Now, tell me what you really want to learn

Tell me what your top three concerns are about your business.

What three key problems keep you up at night and what have you tried that hasn’t worked?

An example might be:

I am really stressed out about how to grow my blog, how to bring on a team that’s affordable and efficient and how to make money doing what I love. I tried to hire the team via Elance, but can’t find great people and I’ve read a lot of blogs to learn how to grow my own. Now I feel stuck.

Post your responses in the comments below. I take what you guys say to heart and am focusing on creating content that knocks your socks off (and adds some bling to your bank accounts).

Hello there handsome reader. I feel like we’ve met before, but if we haven’t, let me give you a taste of what’s to come.

This is part ONE of a THREE part series called Master the Sale, which is all about getting insanely good at running a sales conversation.

And the best part is that it’s free. Let’s jump right into it….

Let’s be real. How many times have we not known what to say when talking to a prospect?

How many times do we wish we were smoother, smarter, wittier, funnier or just plain right?

It’s happened to me all the time, but less recently now that I’ve had some practice at this one skill I’m about to teach you.

Most of us, if we’ve had any sales training at all, have been taught this technique, but what we weren’t taught it how to execute it properly and a result, we kill the sale before it even begins.

What am I talking about?

Assumptions.

Assumptions are the beliefs you have about a person before you get to know them. Many of us are taught that to be good at sales you need to read people and while I wouldn’t classify this as an incorrect statement, it implies that to be good at sales, you have to be born with such a skill.

That’s not true (thankfully).

Frequently we actually create assumptions about people when we are actually trying to read them. Let me explain.

Reading someone is your ability to intuitively understand a specific detail about the other person. Anyone can do it (tweet that here). This may be based on what they say, do or how they dress. How reading differs from assumptions is that reading is an intuitive skill. It’s the right brain, the creative place and is a very physical experience. It’s reactive.

For example, two women sit down to a lunch meeting. Susie, the first woman, is interested in investing in a new business that Marcy is about to present more information about. When Marcy meets Susie, she notices she can’t stop tapping her foot on the ground. There’s a roughness to the tone of her voice and her eyes are squinty.

Marcy feels tense when sitting next to Susie. She thus concludes that Susie is stressed, has a lot of energy and needs to get something off her chest. Thus, before Marcy jumps into her sales conversation, she makes it her goal to put Susie at ease, which starts with ordering some food.

Marcy say how Susie was acting and thus reacted in response. It is important to be as accurate as possible when reading people given that your actions will reflect what you’ve downloaded from that person.

Assumptions on the other hand are very left-brain. They’re proactive in nature and may not have much to do with anything in particular the person said or did. You don’t care about being right, you care about learning more information about the person you’re sitting with. You may in fact intentionally be wrong.

For example, Jose is meeting with Roy about a tractor he is looking to buy. Roy wants to get rid of it quickly and has priced it really low. When Jose meets Roy he says, “Is your wife taking the rest of the farm? Divorces can be such a pain in the ass when you’re trying to divide assets.”

To that Roy responses, “Oh no. We’re not getting a divorce. I’m not even married in fact. My mother is sick and I need to go down to Texas to watch after her. We need the cash so we’re selling off some of our older equipment.”

Jose never met Roy and knew nothing about him other than he was selling a tractor at a cheap price. Thus, he made an assumption and verbalized it to get a sense of who Roy is and what he wants. Although his assumption was wrong, he learned a great deal of information from that one question.

However, most people don’t find ways to verbalize and test their assumptions the way Jose did.

This is the cardinal mistake that most entrepreneurs make.

You must test your assumptions about your customer by verbalizing them.

Ok, so how can I use this tactic and still improve my sales conversations?

If Jose had assumed that Roy was about to get a divorce and never clarified that with Roy, he may have tried to use that as leverage to connect (the key to sales, which we talk about in part three of this series).

He may have spoken about his own marriage, how hard the divorce was and what a shitty time it was to sell off their assets.

While Roy may have been open to listening, that conversation doesn’t facilitate their connection and ability to relate to one another, does it?

Jose would have been much better of talking about how important family is to him and how his mother, who suffers from severe diabetes, lives with him so he can watch over her.

That example allows them to talk about something they both can relate to and fosters a sense of trust and connection.

What may happen as a result of such a connection is as follows:

• Decrease in price of tractor
• More favorable terms for Jose
• A new friend
• Personal introduction a contact who has more farm equipment at a deep discount that no one knows about yet
• Free delivery
• BOGO deal (buy one get one free)
• Nothing
• And much more…

When people trust you, they tend to like you more. And when they like you more, they want to go out of their way to help you. It makes them feel good.

Three scripts to ace your next sales conversation

Now you know the different between reading and assuming. You also know that by not verbalizing your assumptions (testing them), you’re committing sales suicide.

So what can you say to use assumptions like a pro? You can use these three scripts:

Script #1: The Money Maker

Use this to understand what’s important to the person you’re talking to. Anything in capital you can change to fit your individual scenario.

“Hey NAME, correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m betting that REVENUE is probably your number one goal here, right?”

Script #2: The Geographer

Use this to create small talk and get the conversation going. People love talking about themselves and are normally quite proud of where they’re from. Use that to your advantage. This works best if you or someone you know is from the same place you think they are from.

” I’d know that accent from anywhere, you’re from NEW YORK!”

Script #3: The Type-A Personality 

Use this when you want to understand their sense of urgency and what your window of opportunity is to work with them.

“I’m assuming that if we don’t close this by Q2, we will have to wait until next year?”

Even by understanding the difference between reading someone and making an assumption, you are ahead of 99% of the entrepreneurs out there selling (really).

And now that you really understand how how to effectively use an assumption and have three scripts to try out, I want to see how this works for you.

Your homework is to go out and try ONE of these scripts in your next sales conversation then come back here immediately after (use your iPhone if you have to) and share your results in the comments below. If you wait you won’t do it and you don’t do it, you don’t become a master at sales.

I want to know:

1- What was your assumption, meaning, what did you actually say to the person?

2- Was your assumption right or wrong?

3- What key piece of information did you learn about that person by verbalizing your assumption?

See you back here in the comments and keep your eyes peeled for part two of our three week series that comes out next week, same time same place.

To be sure you don’t miss part two, be sure to sign up for our blog (it’s free).

Branding is an interesting topic, mainly, because most people do not have a clear understanding of what a brand is.

I’m going to bypass all the colloquial notions of what a brand is and dive right into the juicy stuff. The definition I most agree with is mentor and marketing genius Seth Godin’s (which you can see here).

It goes as follows:

A brand is the set of expectations, memories, stories and relationships that, taken together, account for a consumer’s decision to choose one product or service over another. If the consumer (whether it’s a business, a buyer, a voter or a donor) doesn’t pay a premium, make a selection or spread the word, then no brand value exists for that consumer.

A brand’s value is merely the sum total of how much extra people will pay, or how often they choose, the expectations, memories, stories and relationships of one brand over the alternatives.

I couldn’t have said it better myself (which is why I didn’t try).

So what does that mean for you?

It means that there are a slew of easy ways to brand yourself or your company without needing the budget of these Fortune 500 guys. Let’s  break this down so that you have some actionable tactics you can initiate today to begin to better expres yourself in the business world.

Customer Expectations:

What are you promising your customer and are you consistently delivering? If you tout that customer service is one of your most important values and yet you don’t respond to emails, have horrible reception for your phone and your assistant has an attitude, well that doesn’t make sense, does it?

Do you show up on time?

Do you follow through and do what you said you would?

Do you offer quality?

Are you trustworthy? Honest? And how is that trust expressed?

Does your service or product work in the way you said it would?

Your brand is reflection of your organization’s ability to answer the above questions with a resounding yes. The key piece here is that you need to ask them to know. You create the product to wow them and then get rapid feedback to see if it landed in the way you had hoped.

Industry and Customer Memories

Why are  events memorable? Why are super bowl commercials sought after and why are sponsorships such a popular part of marketing?

Because they tell a story (see below) and create generational memories.

“Hey Bob, remember Miller Lite’s commercial from last year’s Superbowl? That baby was hysterical.” 

“Are you going to the GQ ball this year? I haven’t been able to make it in the past few years because of a crazy travel schedule, but this year I’m going to make time for it.”

“McDonalds was a sponsor of the US Open and when I went they had these bounce tents all over. My kids loved them.”

Interesting engagements are not only for the present moment wow factor. They create a storyline that gives history and richness to your company. It becomes not only something people fondly remember, but what they look to with eager anticipation.

It also is the catalyst for testimonials. The examples I used above, while they are nothing more than conversational small-talk, could be used as testimonials that show longevity of the event/company, customer loyalty and trust and customer appreciation.

What are you doing for your customers that creates something worthwhile and memorable?

You could:

• Send a hand-written thank you note to each of your customers when they make an order.

• Call your clients up on their birthday and sing them a song.

• Host a free event every month that brings together interesting people in your industry.

• Create a benefit for your favorite cause and host a massive outdoor party annually. Barbecue, beer, hot women. Maybe even do a crazy stunt and get on the news (think RedBull guy practically skydiving from outer space).

• Sponsor your kid’s youth basketball team and as a gift, take the parents out for pizza and wings after every game.

• Send each of one of your clients a copy of their favorite book as a surprise when they sign up.

• Gift $50 cash to your customers randomly when they leave a review for your company on Yelp.

And so much more…

Stories

This is the story arc for not only your company, but also for each interaction you have with a customer. This really deserves a whole 50 blog posts or dedicated tutorial, but the basic idea is to tell the world who you are and then create interactions with others that support that.

For example:

• Share your core values with your customers. What do you and your business stand for? I have an online course to show you how to do this here.

• Write out the reason you created the organization and why it’s so powerful. What problems are you aiming to fix and how do you intend to do so?

• Create sales materials. This can include case studies and testimonials of how your customers benefited from your product or service. These should support the story you’re telling. If you tell people you can help them lose weight using organic, whole foods, but your clients claim to have gained weight from chowing down McDonald’s smoothies (based on your recommendation), that doesn’t work. No one is impressed and it creates a massive disconnect, which is the opposite of a solid brand.

Relationships

How do you treat the people who believe in you? This is the simplest and most profound concept.

Your brand is your reputation with the people who physically interact with you. How you dress, what you say and mostly, how you make them feel are some of the biggest indicators of if you’re trustworthy or not.

Do you say thank you to your customers?

Do you listen to them and help them?

Do you strive to improve and look for feedback?

Are you clear on who your customer is or what they want?

Do you have a system in place that shows your clients how much you care?

Design.

How you look matters. People tell you to dress to impress for a job interview and the same applies to your business.

• Invest in a nice template for your blog or website. You can get great WordPresss templates for $70 or so. WooThemes and Studiopress are two of my favorites. Super easy.

• Hire a designer on Elance to create a logo that you can use on all of your marketing and sales material (website, business cards, stationary, email) to keep it consistent.

• Get rid of all the ugly, cheap looking stuff on your website. This includes weird music, poor quality images and strangely colored fonts.

Branding is not just one thing you do to make yourself memorable. It’s the integrated effort of many actions and insights that over the long term turn into something magical. There’s also an entire tutorial on branding insights here to review if you want even deeper information.

But I want to hear from each of you.

How do you think your brand measures up?

What is your biggest pain point? Finding a designer, figuring out WordPress?

Comment section is a great place for me to get insight into what you need more information on, so post away!

 In fact, post ONE of your biggest paint points surrounding your brand now in the comments below. 

It kind of seems like everyone these days has some sort of blog, don’t they?

From tumblr to WordPress to typepad to even Facebook, content is king (or is it?).

Here’s the thing about content. Like all great things, it’s almost useless until it’s found. If I told you that I had a 1950′s, mint condition Mercedes-Benz that I was giving away for free, but never told you where it was, that would be a little annoying, right? How would you ever grab this fantastic deal?

But what if I never even told you about the car? Despite you telling me how much you needed a car, how much you love the Mercedes brand and how vintage cars are your absolute favorites.

And I say nothing.

Writing a blog isn’t all that different, in fact, the example is even more significant when you use content as the focus.

Writing is meant to be shared. Period.

Content is meant to be given away, for free. Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe it wasn’t like that before, but nowadays, it’s a trust building strategy.

You give away your best stuff, for free, to as many people as possible and over time they begin to like you, trust you and talk about you.

Somewhere in that equation, if you ‘ve listened well enough, you’ll know what they want and they’ll even pay you.

But they can’t very well pay you if they never met you or read any of your work.

If they don’t know the Mercedes-Benz exists, then what are they to do?

The simple, not-so-crazy secret to getting your blog noticed is that you have to make some noise.

What do I mean by that?

I mean who are sharing your content with?

Is it the same audience over and over again or are you finding new people who would find your work useful?

Are you following an SEO model or a Social Model?

SEO models focus heavily on keywords. That means that if you were giving away a Mercedes-Benz online, you’d make sure that all your posts about the giveaway ranked high for key phrases your potential customers used in Google to find those cars. That way, when someone searched for the car on Google, your content would be on the front page of Google and get more visibility.

Social models are focused on “social word of mouth”. Word of mouth marketing (WOM) has long been a standard, even over-looked at times, part of marketing. If someone finds your service valuable, they’ll recommend your company to their friends, family and colleagues.

In the content space, if people find your ideas valuable, they’ll share them just the same, only this time they do so through social media channels like Twitter and Facebook.

These conversations are now happening in the blink of an eye online.

If you go the SEO path, prospects would find your blog via based on what you search for on Google.

If you take the social route, customers find you based on the circles they hang out in and what their friends read and share.

In both instances your goal is to create a solid audience that you can continue to communicate with over the long haul (internet marketers refer to this as a list or tribe).

So that brings us back to the original question, how do you get your blog noticed?

Well there are many ways, but here are three digital options, all of which can be used separately or together, that will get you the attention you are looking for.

• SEO: This means that you study keywords, understand what people are searching for when they want to find your material and seed those keywords throughout your content and site so that people can find them organically. SEO is not my bag of tea (I’m not a super technical person), but it is valuable. Here is a free tutorial from Copyblogger on how to utilize SEO successfully.

• Social: Brand driven, personality motivated, fun content that is based on people sharing it. In SEO people should want to share your content as well (everyone wants their blog posts to go viral), but the difference with social is that it tends to feel more entertaining. You can take a look at someone like Marie Forleo who has a very brand driven blog.

• Partnerships: This is so often a forgotten and poorly understood facet of marketing (and thus getting your blog noticed). So you have the content, but no one is coming? Well what does that mean? That means you need to go find groups of people who would benefit from learning from you. That could consist of a guest post, speaking at a Meetup or sharing your newest ebook with your church group. The point is that you need to find ways to deliver value to new audiences while sharing your content. This is an outbound strategy, where as SEO and Social are inbound focused. Here’s a free tutorial to learn more about executing successful partnerships.

I’m curious, what do you do to get your blog noticed?

And what approaches are you currently using to get your message out there to the world? SEO? Social? All of the above?

Let me know real quick in the comments below.

Here’s the scenario.

I have a good friend.  He’s a thought leader in his own right; he just published a book, has given keynotes at prestigious universities across the country and is a well respected consultant.

You would think he had updated head shots right?

Or what about a press kit?

The not-so-surprising answer is no, he did not have those oh-so-crucial parts of any up and comer’s media strategy.

And here’s why it matters: about two weeks ago a major publisher reached out to him to write a book, which is almost guaranteed to be a NYT bestseller.

To say the very least, this is a big deal.

Before he could move forward in the selection process however he needed a press kit, which would include updated head-shots, among other things.

But his most recent pictures were taken when he was still in the entertainment industry (and that was about 10 years ago).

And a press kit? Not a chance.

He was fortunate enough to be a photographer and know photoshop like a pro, but for many of us, we can’t whip up head-shots and a classy press kit in less than 24 hours. He was the exception.

A press kit and head-shots are like credit: you get them way before you need them. It’s an early stage investment for anyone who plans on rising above the ranks of customer service at a call center.

Magazines, conferences, meet-ups, blogs, your employer and a slew of others all are going to ask you to provide a picture and if you want to be a speaker, a press kit.

Ironically enough, it’s one of the most overlooked parts of someone’s brand, as if it were only something that movie stars and entertainment professionals should be concerned with.

5 Reasons You Should Care

• When you do get asked to speak in front of people you respect, you’ll feel like an asshole when you’re searching Facebook for a “decent’ picture to photoshop. I’ve done it. It’s not classy. 

• Having professional pictures that are done well (and on brand) tells the subtle story of influence. You can read more about that idea here, but the main idea is that the world believes that powerful people are put together. Thus, when you’re put together and on your A-game, people believe the same thing about you.

• It’s annoying to have to constantly find “appropriate” pictures.

• Yes, you can get speaking gigs at conferences without them, but the more well-known you become, the more often they are going to request (and expect) you to have something of quality.

• Don’t you want to look hot? Why wouldn’t you invest in looking amazing?

How to take a great head-shot (and make a sizzling press kit) 

Your head-shot is going to depend on your industry, the impression/story you want to tell and your personality.

First, make sure that you can clearly see your face. The entire point of a head shot is to get a clear shot of your  beautiful noggin, so make sure we can actually see it!

Secondly, shoot for the 80/20 rule. 80% represents the industry benchmark.

You want to stay within industry standards enough so that people recognize you as being credible, but you don’t want to look so outlandish or stodgy that it garnishes the wrong kind of attention. This is the story you’re telling about who you are in the world, so represent!

20% represents your unique sizzle factor so that you stand out even in a crowded marketplace or room for that matter.

To hone in on your special sauce, try playing with color, a great haircut, a powerful suit or unique angles in the photograph. The best way to stand out, in addition to a visually balanced brand, is to hash out your unique messaging and vision for your industry (check out these free tutorials on how to begin to do that).

To get an idea of what your 80% is, take a look at your industry for what a normal picture looks like.  The industry standard for an actress versus a consultant is going to be drastically different. Take that into consideration when you invest in your shots, but don’t be afraid to be creative!

As far as creating a PR kit, this is your way of selling yourself to the media. An excellent press kit answers these important questions:

- Why are you credible

- Worth listening to?

- Share worthy?

Really, at the end of the day, I’m asking myself do I look cool/credible or stupid for putting my name next to your bio and image? If you want to see what not to do for your headshot, you can take a peak at this google search and you’ll see some solid examples of what-not-to-do type of shots!

Erica Swallow, friend, past editor of Mashable and journalist, actually teaches a class on Skillshare on how to create a sizzling PR kit and even get attention from media outlets and bloggers. You can check it out here.

The big lesson?

Go get incredible head shots. Think of where you want to be in 10 years (your dream work) and get the head shots to match that position today.

You’ll thank me when you do.

p.s. Are you looking to revolutionize your business and impact? One slot opened up and it might be for you. Click here to see more.

Being powerful or worth paying attention to doesn’t mean that you show up in a room screaming; that just means your loud.

How we interact with others gives people a rapid impression of not only who we are in the world, what we do but if it’s of any relevance to them.

And underneath that story is the question of if they can trust you (and ultimately buy whatever you’re selling).

Are you stable?

Do you follow through on your word?

Are you reliable?

At the heart of any interaction is trust and it’s of the utmost importance to convey that at every stage of the game. We talk about that in greater depth here with some free resources on how to be irresistible in sales.

Luckily, there are easy actions you can take to send the signal to potential clients and partners that you’re worth listening to.

Here are a few:

• Are you dressed well or do you look like you just rolled out of bed? This doesn’t mean you spend $10,000 on a suit, but it does mean you look like you took the time to get dressed. And, I’d argue that you should invest in a great suit or outfit. Invest in yourself. It’s worth it. 

• Do you look intentional, meaning do the details of your wardrobe, presentation and conversation feel fluid, interesting and balanced?

• Are your hair and beard combed and groomed? Or do you look like a wooly mammoth?

• Do you have holes in your clothes?

• Do you speak really fast, ultra slow or at a steady pace?

• How loud are you? (this can totally be a cultural thing too– I practically yell wherever I am)

• Do you look people in the eyes and are you comfortable holding that eye contact?

• Can you shake someone’s hand and look them in the eye without twitching, sweating or nervously laughing?

• Do you look sick? Many people run themselves into the ground and it shows in their posture, their skin and eyes. They actually look sick and are perceived as less stable. Taking care of your health is so key.

• Do you stand up straight. This one is so incredibly important. When you chat with someone are you leaning towards them, sitting straight or leaning back in the chair? Are your arms crossed and is your head titled more towards the front (like you’re gazing downwards) or tilted upwards? How you stand tells people a world’s worth of information about you.

• When you disagree with people, can you look them in the eyes while doing so? And what’s your tone like? If you can’t look me in the eyes while you disagree, I assume I have more influence in the conversation. I also wonder why you won’t look at me, because if you valued your opinion, you’d look me in the eyes.

And lots. more.

Most of these speak to if you value your time, your appearance and your value.

People who value themselves take care of their health, are intentional in their actions and move slower to go faster.

I’m curious to know, where do you fit in this spectrum?

What’s one thing you could do differently to come across as more confident? Be sure to share in the comments below.

[how you can help me is at the bottom with some goodies in the middle. Scroll to the bottom if you want to jump to the ask]

[p.s. there may be some serious typos, just a fair warning]

So yesterday was my birthday and it was incredible. I had some of the most brilliant people at my birthday brunch, was able to celebrate in the presence of family and got to see people I literally hadn’t hung out with in almost a year.

But since this festive day happened on  a Sunday, I decided to post this today, figuring that it would reach more people.

The past month or so has been tremendous in terms of growth. We took on a new, 5 bedroom apartment (our second rental in NYC), I launched this online class that already has 74 students (I’m so excited!) and this course for a selected few who are ready to up their game and step out in front of their businesses and lead. I celebrated an unbelievable birthday, an anniversary of 7 years with my significant other and booked a two week trip to the Dominican Republic. I’m also in the midst of planning a month long excursion to go to South Africa to work alongside some incredible organizations to increase the number of wild, big cats which are rapidly decreasing.

And I’d be lying if there weren’t some massive freak outs along the way, because a lot of things didn’t go as planned.

Our plumbing went on the fritz (3x) with 7 people staying in our home and we had no shower or toilet access. One guest went to the bathroom in a back ailey at 3 AM (she was pretty hardcore!). We didn’t sleep for 24 hours trying to get a plumber into see the place.

A big leak in the ceiling of our new apartment happened two days before the plumbing went and we had new guests moving into our second apartment with no clean sheets or towels.

And then there was the fear.

The ever present, overwhelming fear that happens when you’re in the bubble of your own mind and you can’t see the forest for the trees.

I sat on my air mattress in our new apartment and cried for about an hour, wondering if we had made a giant mistake. With $10k cash in this place and all these new problems coming about, was it worth it?

Did we royally fuck up and now, what were we going to do?

My partner was scared and I was emotional.

I felt tied down to NYC with a lemon of a property and what seemed like an inattentive landlord.

But then something miraculous happened.

My guy went and got me a delicious breakfast (fresh, french toast with organic bacon and delicious maple syrup). I had opted for something cheap because in that moment, I fet broke. I felt defeated. I felt stupid. So I made choices that reflected how I felt.

I felt instantly better after I ate that food.

Then I got my first birthday gift.

Then my friend told me she was surprising me in NYC!

And then the plumber came and all was fixed.

Then we had two more bookings for our apartment and an incredible rest of the weekend, filled with brunch, family and friends.

The lesson here?

We are always equally on the brink of epic failure and monumental success. In fact, on which ledge we stand if very much so a result of our own perspective.

A phrase that has gotten me out of bad deals and into a better life was the following. “If I were a millionaire, what would I do?” Every time I ask myself this, I surprise myself with the answer.

My inclination tends to be to go slower, be more generous and take more strategic, beneficial risks. I worry less, smile more and am much more laid back which makes me more effective.

So why am I telling you this?

Right now you might be in a hard spot. You might hate your life, haven’t made any money or just went broke. Maybe you’re unhappy and you don’t even know why. Whatever the case may be, I urge you to consider who you want to be and how you want to feel before you live out your life today.

If you want riches and success, then you need to act like that first.

A woman who wants to be treated like a classy lady doesn’t get that sort of treatment by fundamentally seeing herself as a slut, does she?

You, equally, will not achieve a successful business, life, marriage, blog, etc, if you can’t first see yourself as such, even before it actual happens in real life.

People are always sniffing you out, wondering if you’re stable, reliable and trust worthy. We instinctually move towards people who are confident and believe in themselves. So start believing today.

Do I think I made a bad choice on my RE deal?

No, I don’t. I’m living rent free, 15 minutes from Manhattan with 3 more properties on the way by the end of the year.

What I do think is that we are tested. Our dreams are tested. Our faith is tested, both in our ability to achieve the impossible and to simply “be” even when you’re scared shitless.

I wish for you an even greater level of belief in yourself moving forward so that you can achieve your wildest dreams.

So that you can be the leaders we’ve been waiting for.

So that you can feel good about yourself, dammit and be someone your kids will be proud of.

And for my birthday gift, I ask for the following, You can do one or the other, both if you like, but I’d be so grateful if you at least chose one:

1-  Sign up for This Skillshare class and tell everyone you know about it! It’s meant to wake people up to why their vision for the world is so important and how you can leverage it in sales, marketing and in creating a life of abundance and happiness. It starts with you and the craziest part is that you already have the answers.

It’s $15 and it will change your life. We already have 92 students join us!

You can use this tweet to share with your friends:

Stepping up my game with @heylaurynbee new @Skillshare class and you should too! Check it out here: http://skl.sh/125u1RC

2- Only a few people know about this and it wasn’t until today that I was going to public ally post it. I am looking to bring together 15 of some of the most promising thought leaders to help them step their games up, create a bigger stage for themselves and get their ass on a TEDx stage. We are almost full and I’m looking for a few more rock stars.

It will significantly change your life and direction of your business. If you k now someone who would love this, please share this with them. And if you’re interested yourself, reach out to me by email.

Thank you for all of your support, love and encouragement throughout the years. This ride is worth it because of each of you.

xo,

L

Most people think  that vulnerability is the mushy, daytime TV, heart bleeding story where you share confidential details about your personal life and maybe use yourself as a key example for your teachings.

I disagree with that mindset.

There are a set of core beliefs that you have that on some level you believe are dangerous and disruptive and that if you shared them, would compromise your chance at success and acceptance.

Your peers will disagree with you.

Clients may not like you anymore.

You could be publicly challenged or scrutinized.

Or worse yet, fired, ostracized and laughed at!

But here’s the thing.

What makes someone listen to my ideas, you ask.

A lot of folks find themselves in a pickle. How can I be compelling without talking about  my divorce? Isn’t that inappropriate? Or what about my kids or wife or significant other? I don’t want to include them either.

To be vulnerable does not mean you need to expose your personal life to the world. We all have different  boundaries and you can honor them and still be compelling.

Vulnerable means to lean into the wall you’ve built around the ideas you think are too dangerous to share with the world.

They are the ones closest to your heart.

The messages you would impart to your children and even grandchildren.

The ideas that make you unique. The vision that is yours and yours alone until you voice it for all (or some) to hear.

The concept of vulnerability only exists as a dichotomy. Just as dark only exists where there is a lack of light, vulnerability only exists where there is a lack of openness.

If you want others to listen, open up to your biggest ideas.

Lean into your edge and adamantly develop and defend your vision for the world.

Be willing to stand for something.

Vulnerability does not exclusively mean to become a sobbing, west coast hippie who uses phrases like “create a safe container” and “hold space” (although we love those guys too, many are my dear friends).

It means to open up to your light, your truth, your solution for the world and be willing to stand toe to toe, eye to eye and hand shake to hand shake even when others disagree with you.